Reflections on John Sheppard
by Unknownhacker1
Summary: A series on one-shots that show the way people in the Pegasus Galaxy view John Sheppard.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing! (:

This Time: Rodney McKay

* * *

As a kid he'd dreamed big. Always stretching is imagination past the life that he was living, past the bullies and parent who didn't care… out into the wild blue of the sky. He'd never wanted to be a pilot or an astronaut. Never want to climb high mountains or dive to the depths of the ocean. Instead he dreamed of proving himself, of having someone acknowledge that he was important… that he was their friend.

Still it was dream that he'd kept close to his heart. All through college and grad school, he'd tried. God help him he'd tried to get along with everyone else. The nervous sweaty masses who struggled with basic physics, but of course letting it slip that he was excited about the class and how easy he found the test… that was the end of that. He imagined that he had friends among the faculty. I mean, what teacher didn't want a genius in their class. Apparently his teachers… after all no doctorate professors wanted to be shown-up by a lowly freshman.

So he'd wrapped himself up in hostility. Holding it close to his heart like a life-line. If no one would be nice to him damn if he had to be nice to them. He'd graduated and worked all over the world. A sought after Astrophysicist, the guy they called first… hoping that he was available.

That's how it started. One major fix at Area 51 and the Government comes knocking on your door at 2 am. You end up on a plane in dirty slacks and a rumpled t-shirt. Things that you grabbed from the floor in your attempt to not keep the two government goons with guns from killing you instead of waiting. Mckay knew what was coming the moment that he'd seen the Cheyenne Mountain complex. NORAD… wow, what a letdown, he'd already been there. Except they hadn't gone to NORAD. They gone deep inside the mountain. Below NORAD. All the while his non-disclosure form being shoved in his face as he was not-so-gently reminded that he was sworn to secrecy. Who was he going to tell anyway? His cat?

There in front of his was the future. A "Stargate." Literally a gate to the stars… A way for him to see new worlds and travels to the deep unknown of space.

That first mistake was a doozey. Of course he got to meet Samantha, Sam, Carter, but somehow giving up on her friend who was stuck in the buffer loop didn't exactly endear him to her. That was the beginning of the end he supposed.

Before long, he was off to Antarctica. To work at the outpost.

That was where the real adventure started. A_TLANTIS_.

How could he turn that down? The chance to head his own science department. The chance to see a new galaxy… if only he could have known what he would face… more painkillers and antacids would have made it into his pack.

Still he couldn't be upset… at least not for long, about everything that happened. In that time on Atlantis he'd realized something about himself. That he could do almost anything if he set his mind to it… but more important than that was that he was important to the mission. He didn't remember how it happened exactly or when… why, that was a simple answer… it was John Sheppard. The man had a way about him. Like all the world was generally okay and that was okay with him. He risked his life to save their people… the intense believe that we didn't leave people behind shining in every line of his body as he set out to save the others from the wraith. He was a hero and damn if McKay couldn't help but respect him. Somehow John had noticed him; He'd asked McKay to be on his away team. SGA1.

His wildest dreams hadn't been this great.

That was where he'd learned the truth...

That making friends was hard, that people expected things from you. Like help, answers… conversation.

John seemed to take it all in stride, giving as good as he got. He'd never meet anyone like Sheppard. His relaxed way of dealing with things made him a boon to be around but his knack for finding trouble had gotten them in hot water more than once. Still, Rodney knew that this man, the hero of Atlantis, was his friend. Maybe the others might not believe him, but hey… he'd let the guy push him off a balcony for Christ's sake… of course they were friends.

He'd seen others respond the same way to Sheppard. That uncontrollable urge that got you caught somewhere between rolling your eyes and slapping him upside the back of the head… or trying to be his best friend...a title that Rodney was sure he held.

Sure, He hated Sheppard sometimes… but the truth was there was no one like him in the universe and he was glad about that… more than one Sheppard and he was sure that the sun would implode or something.

John Sheppard… he just had a way about him.

* * *

Up next: Carson Becket


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Author's Note: SGA doesn't really give a ton of insight into Carson's history... so this story is a lot about how I see Carson.

* * *

When he was a little boy his babysitter would take him outside and tell him stories about faeries. She would tell him that only good little boys got to see them and good little boys sat quietly at the table and ate all their vegetables without a fight.

For his part… Carson made his babysitter realize that she should have changed her stipulations a little. Carson loved vegetables, if he ate them he'd grow up to be big and strong like his Dad, and there were very few things he wanted more in life than to be like his dad.

Unfortunately one of the things that ranked right up there was exploring the vast green forests and fields around his house.

Before long he knew every deer trail, stream, rock, and tree. He marked them all with sixteen scuffed knees, three pairs of ruined boots in one year, thirty-six plain bandages stolen from the medicine cabinet and all carefully applied to anything that he felt warranted "first-aid", more than a hundred bruises, one twisted ankle, one broken right arm, one pair of particularly muddy pants, and exactly fifty-two and half "Look what I found, Can we Keep him/her?" conversations with his mother and/or father.

Yes, Carson Beckett longed for adventure…

It drove his academic father and mother crazy. For one whole month they had locked him inside the house with various books and charts to read. He hadn't minded, learning was as much an adventure to him as exploring outside. His parents were less than thrilled when their month of imposed scholar-hood had yielded nothing more than their son taking books with him on his day long excursions into the woods. More often than not, Carson would hike until the sun was high in the sky, sit down and read for a couple of hours, before rushing to make it home for supper.

Except on school days, when he occupied his time with learning, his second favorite thing in the world.

It wasn't until he was fourteen and his father took him to the Royal Academy of Medicine in Glasgow that Carson truly understood what adventure was and realized what he wanted in life.

He wanted to be a doctor.

He had of course shocked his parents.

Not by saying he wanted to be a doctor, after all his father was a doctor.

No he shocked them by applying to and being accepting into the Royal College of Surgeons in London.

Carson was terrified. He'd never lived in a big city… but Carson never backed down from a challenge.

That was why after graduating at the top of his class and working in Europe for a couple of years. He was recruited into the Stargate Program. A bright young doctor like him could go far they said…

They didn't quiet explain the "far" part well enough.

Sadly, in his first year as a doctor at the Cheyenne Mountain complex, his father died. It was the hardest thing that Carson had ever dealt with in his twenty-five years of life. He'd taken some time off, time to spend with his mother… time to spend going through his father's things and remembering the last time that they'd spent time together.

It was hard, but it taught him a lesson about how frail life was and how important it was that he never give up fighting.

When he returned to the Stargate Program, his position had been filled by another "rising star" in the medical field and he'd been transferred to Antarctica.

Not much to look at, not much to explore, and not much use for a trained surgeon when the only thing you were treating was caffeine addiction, mild hypothermia, paper cuts, and headaches brought on by the aforementioned Caffeine addiction.

Of course there was that pesky ATA gene thing… which to be quiet frank both thrilled and scared the hell of him.

Still… it was in Antarctica that he first met John Sheppard.

Of course, it was after he'd accidentally fired a drone at him… but that was all details.

There are very few people that you meet in this world and in the first moments that you lay eyes on them you know them. Like you understand them to be kindred spirits, someone who you can rely on, trust, be friends with.

John Sheppard was one of those people.

Not that Carson was anything like John; he wasn't rugged or lethal in the way Sheppard was. He didn't ooze cool like him, or have a wicked sense of humor and a smile in the face of sheer unadulterated terror.

Still, Carson knew it from the start.

He was glad he hadn't killed him with the drone and added to that relief every time he was able, by god's own grace and some luck on his part, save the Major when he came in with some strange injury or illness related to this bizarre universe.

John and him may not have been friends like Rodney and him were friends…

But he sensed that John knew the same things he did, that he understood and stood for the same things…

He knew that John would never stop fighting for his friends lives. That Sheppard had a core made of solid steel with a backbone to match. Carson knew that he was the same in that regard. When it came to his patients he was unrelenting, unyielding, and more determined to save souls than the devil was to steal them.

For the most part, John and he didn't fight. There was the time that John had implied that his turtles would make good soup, but all in all they limped along nicely.

At least John limped... and Carson... well he made sure that the Major didn't hurt himself to badly.

Carson would never tell Sheppard, but every time his team left on a mission, Carson would make sure that everyone available knew they were on call, that the infirmary was fully stocked, and that he was on hand and ready when one of them arrived hurt… because it always happened that someone on Atlantis' Away-team one got hurt.

This lead to hours of hand ringing and pacing on his part and the being called a mother hen by his staff… but Carson didn't mind. It's what friends did for one another.

In the end Carson could call John Sheppard his friend, and he was abundantly glad of that.

* * *

Please Review and let me know that you think.


	3. Chapter 3

Hey guys. This was inspired by my friends and my sister who are painters and view the world differently then I do. Also, inspired by the fact the I LOVE Lorne!!!

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

* * *

Evan Lorne was a painter. He remembered being a kid and falling in love with the colors and shapes of the city he grew up in. San Francisco could make everybody think they were an artist. Its buildings and people all flowing into one another and fading into the clouds…

His mother would indulge his need to paint and they would sit along side one another watching the sunrise or the wind across the bay forming white caps on the cold water. Lorne did well in school… but he often drifted off in the middle of his teachers lectures… he'd gaze out the window and dream in cobalt blue and ivy green. He'd dream of shades and shapes, sketching them without even realizing it.

Once for a class assignment the teacher had asked them to draw a picture of their family. Evan had painted blobs of various colors in front of a sparkly multi-colored washy background.

His teacher hadn't approved and tried to tell his parents that he was not at the same level as his classmates. His mother had stormed the school board to let them know about her extreme disapproval of Mr. Owens, Lorne's teacher… and super glued the painting to the refrigerator.

Evan had once decided that in order to further his art, which was a term he'd heard in a documentary on TV, he'd have to be like all the great artist of antiquity. He contemplated cutting of his ear, but when he realized how much that would hurt he decided that he'd settle for less destructive quirks.

Like wearing all of his shirts backward for an entire year or speaking in third person until his teacher gave him detention; which resulted in his mother once again storming a school board meeting and Evan getting transferred into another class.

His mother understood his quest to create a quirk; after all, great artists had something that made them different.

Evan Lorne was a painter… at least until life got in the way.

His Dad was a buttoned down teacher at a local community college. He dreamed of his son doing great things, traveling the world, making good money… going to an Ivy League school. He didn't imagine that his first child would see the world in the same tones and patterns that his wife did. He loved Evan, but being a painter was not what he wanted for his son.

His father done his best by him. Pushed him to achieve more, do better in school, get involved in sports. Evan, who wanted to make his father happy, relegated his painting to the few spare moments he had.

At first it was hard, painting was like breathing to him. Soon he realized however, that guys who were sensitive artists on the football team were popular with the ladies. So reluctantly he let painting slip into the background and let the real world take hold.

If only his father had known how big Evan's dreams really were and how far they would take him. He'd sit on the roof of their apartment building and gaze into the heavens, watching the lights of the city fade and scour the sky for the first and only stars that pierced the veil around the city.

Evan imagined that he could see the universe, he'd stare hard at the pitch sky, at least until he'd get to cold or he'd get nauseous from starring at nothing and his eyes would hurt from glaring out into space for so long with nothing to focus on.

Evan dreamed of flying, of soaring. He never told his mother, she loved him dearly but she was an artist… she dreamed of painting. He never told his father, he wanted him to do great things but… he was a teacher he dreamed of college campuses and sound the books make when the spine cracks.

He told his little sister. A baby with a bright smile, who more often than not responded to his dream with a smile and the smell that indicated she needed a diaper change.

It was in his senior year in high school that he broke the news to his parents.

That no… he wasn't going to be an artist.

And No, he wasn't going to be attending Harvard.

Evan had enlisted into the Air Force.

Evan imagined that for him the Air Force would be like a contortionist trying to fit into a box. That he'd have to bend backward and twist in odd ways in order to fit in, but it turned out that he fit in very well. Except that he was far to eager to please and far more polite than any of the other recruits that he went to basic with.

His mother had always told him that the best thing to do in a situation that made you uncomfortable was to be polite… and the Air Force made him uncomfortable.

Most of it did at least. During his first ride-along in an F-16 he'd laughed as the G's pressed him back into the seat.

During his first simulated Dog Fight as a pilot he'd given one big shout of joy as he'd pursued his "enemy."

No one that knew Lorne had a bad thing to say about him. That was what drew Jack O'Neil to him, as a recruit for the SGC. Not that they needed more pilots… but they needed strong, dependable, level headed people to keep an eye on scientists and eager young Marines who had seen to many Alien movies.

Evan for his part was excited to see something new. He'd jumped at the chance to "travel to another galaxy, visit strange new worlds, defend humanity against unimaginable alien threats." He still dreamed of the world in colors, though he kept that secret close to his heart. He was so tired of muted colors and Air Force blues… he saw in the Stargate program a way to see more… to know more… feel more…

He was recruited back Jack O'Neil himself and if Evan wanted to be honest with himself it was O'Neil that really made him join. He had a quality of experience that he wore around him like a shield; it made Evan's fingers ache to paint. Where the last year or so had been spent with pastels and colors washed out by blues and drab colors… Jack O'Neil was vibrant… as were his team and General Hammond.

It was strange… but Evan knew that he was secretly a weird-o… he just hid it better than Dr. Jackson and some of the others.

When the Atlantis Mission had first come to his attention… he didn't hesitate to take the offered position as Second-in-command. He was just a Major… and a pilot who hadn't flown in nearly a year and half… but Evan felt like he'd won the lottery, been promoted to General, been hit on by a supermodel, and been elected president on the same day.

At least until he was given access to the personal files and mission reports for Atlantis.

There was something about him, maybe it was the hair… but Evan was sure that he wasn't going to get along with Lt. Col. John Sheppard

Then there were the mission reports. John Sheppard had killed Colonel Sumner and roused a threat that in many ways rivaled the Go'auld and Ori for creepiness and hostility.

What was most troubling was report about the events that occurred on Atlantis during a freak weather anomaly, in which John Sheppard had killed an estimated seventy people with little to no support from the evacuated staff of the city. He'd read the report about the battle that had been fought to keep the city. About the loss of the young Marine, Aiden Ford…

When Evan pictured Sheppard he pictured reds and violent burning oranges… colors that reminded him of a particularly mean Drill Instructor he'd had in basic… the colors of a violent bully.

Yet, the first time he'd seen Sheppard, he'd been sitting at a table with his "team." Dr. McKay, a scientist that he had whole heartedly avoided the one time they had been at the SGC at the same time. A woman, who he assumed must be Teyla Emmagan, an alien who'd been helping them meet new people and in general find there way around this galaxy. There was a sadness around them… but they seemed hopeful and appreciative of the time together.

It wasn't the company he kept that caught Evan's attention though, it was the laughter. Loud, unrestrained, joyous peels that filled the cafeteria.

Evan picture blues and heady greens slashing across the red's he associated with his commanding officer.

Shortly after he came to Atlantis, as he learned the reigns and meet the people who lived and worked here, He learned more about John Sheppard and felt his confusion grow.

Evan expressed this to Doctor Beckett, a man that he came to know and respect while at the SGC.

Carson had told Evan all about Lt. Col. John Sheppard; who everyone, with the exception of Lorne who called him Sir, called Sheppard or John.

He told Evan all about the wraith, about John's refusal to leave anyone behind, about how he went to meet the families of all those who were lost in the siege in person. He told Evan that John and Elizabeth Weir had sat in her office talking for hours after the events that occurred during the storm. That Rodney McKay, who was notoriously arrogant and rude, respected John Sheppard and would look to him for help, where before he would work alone even if he needed help.

Evan felt other colors leaking into his vision of John Sheppard. He felt his inability to understand his commanding officer nagging at him.

It wasn't until he was asked to accompany a botanist and then later McKay to P3M-736 that he gained a real glimpse into the heart of John Sheppard. It was thanks to Ronon Dex, a man who Sheppard had no reason trust or even leave alive accept that had given his word.

It was then that Evan Lorne realized for the first time in his life that there was something he could not paint. There were no colors, no blending techniques, or shading methods that would make John Sheppard come to life on paper… no way to replicate, explain, or fully understand him.

He was like no one else he'd even met.

* * *

Next Chapter: Kolya


	4. Chapter 4

This Chapter is a little different then the ones before.

Just give it a try.

Disclaimer: I own Nothing

This time: Acastus Kolya

* * *

He remembered the sun, the taste of sweet clear water, the feel of the earth beneath his feet. He remembered his mother's laughter, but more than anything he remembered fear.

It was not hard for Acastus Kolya to imagine death or fear. He grew up along side them.

The Wraith came to his world when he was young. The Genii were ill prepared for the devastation of this culling. It had been years since the last culling and for a time they imagined they were free, they imagined that they were safe, but the Genii were not so lucky.

His family was not so lucky.

His people had for many years lived in caverns beneath the surface of the planet; But Acastus and his family had lived and worked on the surface. They were farmers, children of a simpler time, when the Genii were a great alliance of planets that could protect it's people and military might had no place in everyday life.

When the Wraith came… they took everything from him; his mother, his father, his faith… his humanity, the sun… all taken by a single Wraith dart.

The orphans that survived the culling were a strain on the system… some of the children were adopted into good loving families… but most of them were forced into the underground. They were given a choice, be laborers or join the military.

The fire of rage that filled Acastus left him no choice. He would strike at the Wraith in the only way he could, he joined the Genii military.

It was there, in the dark damp caves where Acastus dreamed of his mother's screams and the smell of his burning home… and fanned the fired of hate that had cooled in many of his fellow survivors, that he became something else.

People would say that the Wraith were a part of life… but Acastus refused to believe that… he refused to let death be a part of his peoples future.

He pushed himself harder, longer… stripping away anything that remained of Acastus the farmer's son, and became Kolya.

He was a natural, or maybe his rage made him strong and willing to learn, but it didn't matter, he caught the eye of the right people and was pushed through ranks quickly.

To Koyla it was time for an era of renewed Genii power. He would do whatever it took to bring his people back to glory, to make them strong again.

For all intents and purposes he was an excellent military commander.

Yet, beneath his loyalist façade there was a deeper purpose, a promise that he made to himself in his early years as a grunt. He saw the weakness in the Genii leadership and the in those who lead as the years went on and swore that he would end their reign. He swore to himself that the Genii would have a strong leader… and that leader would be him.

So he waited, watching for the cracks to widen, making the right friends, making a name for himself.

He fought and watched as those he had trained and fought along side, died… all the while letting this vow and the coming coup be his salve.

He remembered getting word that the city of the Ancients had resurfaced and was inhabited. He understood the importance of the city… the way that it could change and shape his coup… that it would be a strong bargaining chip.

He let Cowan attempt to double cross the Atlantians, knowing that he wasn't smart enough to pull it off… he let Cowan think that he was worried about the readiness of his strike force, but Kolya was a careful planner. He'd been training his men for months, preparing them for this mission.

So when the time came, when Atlantis was vulnerable Kolya was ready to strike.

It was easy to get there and thanks to the storm pounding down on them easy to take over. For a moment, Kolya felt like Acastus again… like a child with his dreams at his finger tips, but he had failed to anticipate one thing… one variable he had not calculated into his plan; John Sheppard.

It had cost him dearly. The loss of Idos, the only son of his good friend, and the general in his coup, Athor, had cut deep into his heart. He felt the loss of all of his men like little pieces of himself dying off.

That was not the worst of it. John Sheppard had exposed a weakness in him. John Sheppard, who, like him, was a solider and that the price of war was paid in blood and heartache… but Sheppard had something he didn't. People, who were willing to stand with him, people who were willing to call him friend and defend him even in the face of the blood on his hands.

He'd left that engagement with a hole in his shoulder and a good guess about what would happen to him when he returned home. He felt his rage build, felt that fire that had driven him consume his insides.

Blood dripped on the floor of Cowan's office and Kolya found himself hoping it would stain the cold cement. Hoping that even after he was cast away and forced to leave his people, that bright blood would remain… some piece of him to remind Cowan that things can change rapidly and when the world tilts sharply those who aren't ready for it are tossed asunder.

He watched the blood pool around his arm, his left arm hanging limp at his side, but his mind was not in the bunker… his mind was not on what he would do now. His mind was caught on one man. His mind was on the man that had laid him low. Around him, those soldiers brave enough to stand with him despite Cowan's fury wrung their hands and thought about the future… but Kolya replayed the events of the last thirty-six hours.

He watched the predatory stride of his enemy as he entered the gateroom. The confidence in his eyes as he took the shot… The darkness in him…

John Sheppard, a deceptively simple name for a deceptively simple man. There was darkness that Kolya felt echoed in himself. If they had met in some other place under different circumstance Kolya could almost imagine them as kindred souls.

It was no consolation to his savaged pride and the inferno in the pit of his gut.

So Kolya did what he was best at… he waited, he planned, he watched, and he trained.

He wanted to make them pay for what they had done. He wanted them to loose as much as he had. So Kolya, who had built a network of spies and rats for years, set his informants to watch for the Atlantians. To inform him of their every move, to let him know when John Sheppard and his team where on the move and what they were doing.

Kolya knew from the beginning that he was at a disadvantage. There was something about Sheppard; Kolya wasn't sure how he did it. Maybe it was by sheer force of will, but he could survive almost anything.

He proved it to. As Kolya's life got worse his anger toward the Military Commander of Atlantis grew. After all, if he had taken Atlantis or been able to get the ZPM on Dagan things would have gone differently, but he had a way to get it back and this time he was going to use Sheppard.

The Wraith had been his prisoner for years, long before his failed Coup and betrayal by Ladon Radim… long before he was exile from his beloved Genii.

It was hard to watch Sheppard be fed on by the Wraith, but Kolya steeled himself. He understood that it was a means to an end and would help him and his people in the end.

Sheppard's escape as an old man with the help of the Wraith had been the final blow. Kolya felt failure creep up on him. It was as familiar to him, something that he remembered from the first days in the Underground. Those days when he was sure that he would never be warm again, sure that he would never seen the sun again.

The last time they met, Kolya felt death hovering on the edges of his mind. He knew that one of them would die.

Knew that this was the last time he would lock wits and weapons with John Sheppard.

Maybe he had already given up, maybe he knew that their was no reason for him to keep fighting, but somewhere in the back of his mind Kolya knew that he was the one who was going to die.

At least he would die by the one person he'd meet in his life who he considered his equal.

It wasn't the way he planned, it wasn't glorious or for the good of the cause…

Still, John Sheppard, who was so similar to him in so many ways had the strength to carry on in this new dangerous galaxy. He only hoped that the Genii had a place in it as well.

In his last moments as he considered all of this, considered John Sheppard and his life, he felt the sun warm his face…

and slipped away.

* * *

Let me know what you think!

Next time: Elizabeth Weir


	5. Chapter 5

Hey readers!

Just a little House keeping stuff... I have read a few reviews that have pointed out grammatical errors... so I feel I have to say this... I NEED a beta reader but I can't find one. Anyone have any suggestions?

Next: I wanted to put a couple of possible chapters to a vote. Message me or just include your thoughts in a review... Let me know which ones are a yes or a no.

Clone Beckett

Replicator Weir

Colonel Caldwell

Kavanagh

Jack O'Neil

Samantha Carter

Let Me know what you think about these and any other suggestions you might have.

* * *

"Be Safe"

Elizabeth's mother had whispered that every time she'd left the house for as long as she could remember. Elizabeth had never really thought anything of it. She'd shove her pens and bright primary colored folders into her backpack and head out to meet the bus with her mom's kiss her on her check and those words ringing in her ears. It was a token that Elizabeth hung onto. It was an encouragement when a goal seemed insurmountable, it was her safety blanket, a reminder that her mom was always with her.

There were things that some mother's didn't want to hear about their precious only child… climbing tall trees, jumping off mountainous rocks, and making friends with all kinds of flora and fauna… but Elizabeth's mother was nothing like that.

She welcomed scuffed knees with a keen eye, a clean bandage, and a kiss.

She encouraged Elizabeth to live and live well. To see the world, know the world, and change the world.

Her father was much the same way… fanciful on all the issues that counted, willing to argue about why a certain punishment was more justifiable then another or what was the most reasonable compromise about what to have for dinner… he was above all abundantly loving toward his precious daughter.

Elizabeth had a way about her even as a child. She was the peacekeeper amongst neighborhood kids. She did well in school but still made time to have fun with her friends. When she laughed everyone around her wanted to laugh to… it was an infectious kind of joy and love for life. Elizabeth was a careful and diplomatic child… always negotiating truces between bullies and their victims or ending violent civil wars between her grand armies of toys and dolls in the living room.

Not that Elizabeth was always a perfect child… she had in fact caused her mother and father to go slightly gray early in life.

Once she had decided that nothing would do for her but to move out of her parent's house, at the tender age of six, and into her tree house. That lasted a day… but it was horrifying for her mother… because the tree house was nothing more than a piece of sagging plywood nailed into a V in a large oak tree in the front yard. Elizabeth had built it herself… so nails of various shapes, sizes, and varied lengths stuck out of the plywood and tree at odd angles.

Oh, Yes… Elizabeth had a way about her. She was stubborn about many things… about what she believed and what she wanted in life… but most importantly she was stubborn about those she considered under her care… which oddly enough included her parents.

She was as well fiercely independent and ready to face almost any challenge.

Unlike most girls her age, Elizabeth never went through a truly awkward transition phase. Yes, there had been the growth spurts and the emergence of freckles all of her face, and going to bed one night with straight hair and waking up the next morning with curly hair… but it seemed for the most part the Elizabeth has always been an adult and now her body matched her brain and maturity level.

It had been no surprise to anyone when Elizabeth headed off to college a thousand miles away. That was what she wanted… and by now everyone in the Weir house knew that what Elizabeth wanted… Elizabeth got.

Elizabeth was very much like her father in that regard.

It wasn't strange to her parents that Elizabeth chose to study international relations, or politics… or negotiation… things like that had come naturally to her.

It was a moment of pure joy when Elizabeth had been invited to work with the U.N. as a negotiator after graduating. She sent them gifts from all over the world… gifts from all the places she had been.

She never stopped moving, never stopped working toward her goal… at least until her father died. It made Elizabeth stop and rethink her priorities. She knew what her father had been sick and toward the end had been unable to leave his bed… so she knew, despite her sadness, that he was in a better place.

He father had died during what could only described as a horrible negotiation where everything could have gone wrong did. It was there that Elizabeth Weir met Simon. The first guy she'd ever met who made her take her eyes off the future for even a moment.

In the wake of her father's death and with the possibility of failing at a negotiation for the first time ever hanging over her head, she fell in love.

There was no stopping her then. She saw the barrier's that were placed before her and slammed right through them without any sign of stopping or slowing. She moved closer to home so that she and her mother could be closer and Simon moved with her. Her star was rising fast, which was how she became involved in the Stargate Program. After "That Horrible Baltic Negotiation" she caught the eye of the President.

She was "briefed" on the way to the Cheyenne Mountain Complex… and that was saying something… it was a brief explanation. President Hayes made it very clear what her job was though… she was the "new" civilian face of the SGC and she would be the president's tool for controlling the actions of the covert military operation.

If He had read through her record, then he would have picked someone else. Elizabeth jumped right in to her work at the SGC, she talked to people, read mission reports, observed on a few away missions. She felt ready for anything, except maybe an attack on the earth and having to negotiate a treaty with the Go'auld, but she took those things in stride.

Channeling her favorite superhero, Wonder Woman, she was calm and collected in the face of danger and possible death by a hostile alien race. Soon after she resigned her commission as commander of the SGC and moved the Antarctica Outpost. She read all she could about the ancients, learned their language, studied their buildings and inventions and was ready to do whatever it took to find and travel to the lost city of Atlantis.

It was there in the cold of Antarctica as she stood on the edge of achieving her dream that she meet John Sheppard.

He was just a hot shot pilot, a flyboy with a black spot on his record. Still, she knew… that with his control of the ATA gene and his dedication to those he considered his friends he would be a valuable asset to her mission. Except he said no… it was the strangest thing for Elizabeth. She couldn't image not wanting to go through the Stargate. She couldn't imagine not wanting to know more, see more, and do more…

Whatever Jack O'Neil said to him on that helicopter ride back made him change his mind. He was there in that control room as they dialed the gate.

Things went wrong fast… it was hard to imagine how things got so bad so quickly but there was one shinning ray of hope. Colonel Sheppard. It was strange that even as he annoyed and frustrated her, that he brought her hope.

As he left in his "Puddle Jumper" to save the others… she felt the words that her mother whispered to her as a child slipping from her lips.

"Be Safe."

That was the beginning of the end for Elizabeth, in a good way she supposed. All her life she had stood on her own two feet, she had never really needed someone to lean on, but John Sheppard made her want to trust him. He made her want to share her burden.

He would find her in her office late at night and harass her until she returned to her room, he brought lunch to her desk because somehow he knew that more often than not she skipped eating in favor of work. He encouraged her to stay the course when she did the right thing even if it was hard and disagreed with her when she made a decision that he didn't agree with. He listened without comment when she told him about Simon and had been a shoulder to cry on after Simon moved on. He was her constant companion, and in many ways the only true friend she had ever had. She was closer to him than she had ever been with Simon… in a way it made that last decision she made easier.

There on the Asuran home world… she knew what she had to do. She knew that John would blame himself, but she had no choice. She considered everyone that was with them that day a friend, but she considered John something more. A brother perhaps, someone that given time and different circumstances she could come to love… but more importantly her best friend, the other part of her soul.

As she watched them leave the planet, knowing that her death was close at hand she felt those words slips from her lips once more, this time in a true farewell and a prayer to whatever God or Ascended beings might be listening.

"Be safe"

* * *

Next time: Ronon Dex


	6. Chapter 6

Hey guys! Sorry for the Delay... Life sometimes get's in the way of writing.

Disclaimer: I own Nothing

* * *

Ronon could remember so much from his childhood. He could recall the sun rising over Sateda, and how the Capital city seemed to glow like the City of the Ancients itself. He remembered the feel of his mother's hands in his hair, carefully twisting and pulling as she told him what each dreaded lock meant. He recalled his father training him from day break to the setting of the sun. He recalled sitting with his family for the evening meal and feeling like all the world was contained and made right in the small room on that small low table.

He had always wanted to join the military. It was in his blood. His father was a general and his mother was a healer in the Satedan Regulars. His grandfather had once lead a strike team against a crashed wraith Hive ship, while on another world. He had worn his scars and wraith bones proudly until the Second Childhood had taken him. He believed mightily in the strength of his people. He believed that they had a right to live free of the Wraith. So when the day came… his fifteen birth celebration, there was no hesitation in him… He joined the Special Companies.

From there his world expanded drastically. He learned to fight and kill in new and exciting ways… he learned the importance of a good team; he learned the value of the gun in his hand, the knife at this waist, and the blood in his veins.

He was born for this, like all the ancestors had gifted him with strength of body and mind so that he could be what he was, a fighter. There was no weapon that when placed in his hands didn't feel right, no enemy to big or to powerful for Ronon to take down. He could fight or talk his way out of just about everything … in the exceedingly rare times when brute strength and unrivaled strategy failed… he sounded himself with people he could trust. Men and women who were like him, made for this life… born to fight.

When he met Melena, she fell right into place in his world. A piece of his soul that had been missing returned in her. She was the light and the air. A healer, a strong and good woman… a woman he could grow old beside. A woman who would teach their children to be strong and true, who would laugh, and cry, live, and die beside him, with him.

When the Wraith came… it was like his world fell apart. Like the stars that the Ancients hung to watch over them ceased shinning and plummeted to Sateda taking all of his hopes with them. Melena refused to leave the city… she said that she was needed in the hospital. For a moment he cursed his foolish heart for falling in love with such a selfless woman. He stared at her, his heartbreaking as the Chieftain spoke his petty words over the Communication Channel. He wanted to hit something, to scream at the injustice… but he knew that he couldn't. So he'd done the only thing he could, he prepared to fight, to die. Melena's hands had carefully helped him don his Light Armor; it was the best for running and fighting… exactly what he'd need to beat the Wraith. Her nimble fingers had pulled his hair back from his face and bound it into itself. She'd laid one last kiss on his lips and clasped his hands before turning her back on him and heading for the hospital.

His men waited for him. He could see it in their eyes… none of them expected to live through this… and they hadn't. She hadn't.

His world was a cold and empty place, and he didn't plead for life when the Wraith captured him, he had welcomed death. He feared that on the inside… he was already in the ground.

He didn't know what stopped the Wraith that day. Perhaps the thing knew that he wanted to die, perhaps it knew that it would not get the satisfaction of his pleading or fear… whatever happened that day altered the course of his life in ways that he could not have imagined. He was a Runner. Tracked like an animal in the Forrest… forced to keep moving… to keep fighting, but it was not lust for life that kept him going, instead it was rage. A rage that burned him from the inside out, so potent it seeped from his pores, it drove away his sense of pain, his sense of time…

For years, many years he ran. Until all the worlds blended together, until the hunger he felt became his constant companion, until exhaustion was the only thing that reminded him he was alive.

It was on a planet, like the others before; trees, rocks, wraith, and intense skin searing sunshine, that he met John Sheppard. Well not really met… more like notched unconscious and robbed, but he was a runner and he had to keep moving. He envied the obvious familiarity that he'd seen between Sheppard and Teyla, though he hadn't known their names at first. He'd been amazed that Sheppard had offered to have their healer remove the tracker. He'd never met people like this before. It made him all the more aware that he was tired… too tired to keep running.

So when John Sheppard had offered him a place on Atlantis… it was hard for him to consider saying no. He didn't know if he could trust again… he didn't know if he had a heart left. Years of running from the Wraith had made him into a person that he didn't recognize. A man who rarely talked, never smiled, who was never without a weapon… a man with nothing inside of him but pain and anger.

He knew he had no other choice. Sateda was destroyed… the ground poisoned and the cities like relics of a better time standing broken on the horizon. He'd never met a man like John Sheppard. He'd heard the stories after a little time on Atlantis… stories of what he'd done to the Genii, stories of his actions during the siege of Atlantis. All things that spoke to military might… instead he seemed lazy, easy-going, and sometimes even hyperactive. He liked movies and football… things Ronon couldn't begin to understand… but what surprise him… what shocked him… was the way John Sheppard took to him. Immediately he stood up for Ronon, made him part of his "team," started going running with him, started looking after him.

It was early morning on Atlantis, when he realized what had happened… his team sat around him, cracking jokes at McKay. John sat slumped back in his chair, his eyes constantly moving and aware despite his relaxed pose. Teyla sat next to John, her smile open and honest. McKay was slumped over in the chair next to him completely comfortable despite around him despite his constant teasing. That was when he realized it… John Sheppard hadn't just made him part of his team… he'd made him part of his family.

It was like a flashback to his childhood, like all the world was contained and made right on that Mess Hall table.

He knew, though he'd never say it out loud, that he would do anything for John Sheppard, because Sheppard had saved him, made him feel alive again… and he knew that no matter what happened in his time on Atlantis and without asking that he could count on John Sheppard to do anything for him… because that was the kind of man he was.

* * *

Thanks! Be sure to Review!

P.S. I'm looking for a BETA please aid in my search! Thank you!

Next Chapter: Teyla


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I own nothing...

AN: Hey, sorry for the long delay. Please enjoy!

* * *

Teyla's people were not overly proud, they did not need words to remind them of their strength… instead that felt it in the every day motions of living and in every breath, they did their best to live… to live well. Her people loved one another, shared with one another, grew along side one another beneath the Athos' Sun. Teyla remembered the ground beneath her feet. Cold in the winter and warm in the summer… she remembered Charrin's Tuttle Root Soup, and she remembered her Father, her father who had for most of her life seemed impossibly strong, who had lead his people the best that he could.

She grew up in a small village, moving from place to place. She learned all the things that she could. How to farm, hunt, heal, fight…

Anything and everything that she could learn… she did. She wanted to know the trees and plants by name, to be fast like the prey the hunted, and soothing like Charrin. As a little girl she would disappear for days on end. Into the woods, running game trails, living off the land and her wits… until the first Culling of her young life.

She'd been on her way back to the village when the feeling had slammed into her, an extra sense, the feeling that something was coming. She'd been filled with fear… it froze her in place as the feeling grew stronger. It wasn't until she heard the sound of the Wraith ships leaving the Ring that the paralysis broke. She ran. The woods blurred around her and her lungs burned but the pit of her stomach was eating away at itself and Teyla needed to find her father. They found in each other in the woods outside the camp and he'd held her close until the Wraith were gone. Teyla felt the burden of her fear and swore on that day that she would not let anything stand in the way of doing what needed to be done She swore to herself then to find the strength within her.

Teyla understood from an early age that life was valuable, precious, and fleeting. You could fight it all you wanted by death was a present reality for them. Cullings, disease, starvation in the winter, mudslides in the rainy season, and back breaking labor in the summer marked the years… but Teyla did not feel that her life was hard or empty… instead she felt a peace within herself and a confidence that grew as she did.

When her father died, Teyla had been young… but ready to take over the reigns of leading her people in the way the Ancestors would have wanted. It was hard in those first years, she could barely bring herself to rise from her bed on days when it seemed that the entirety of the stars was coming for her.

Still, Teyla believed that the Ancestors would watch over them. That the Ancestors would give them a better future they just had to believe and stay true.

So with each morning as the Sun broke the night and her people gathered close to her to drink the ceremonial Tea and start the day… Teyla reminded herself of that vow. She reminded herself of the value of life and the strength that was within her.

It was on such a morning, before the tea and long before the rising of the sun, that Teyla met John Sheppard. There was a stillness about him that drew her eye first. The older man that he was with had eyes that flitted from place to place… a deep restlessness and disgust that showed in those eyes. The younger man shifted from foot to foot, his hands moved from place to place on his weapon… it was hesitation that Teyla saw in him… But John Sheppard had a stillness that lay close to his bones.

That was not all… it was in his gaze that Teyla found herself caught. His older companion looked through her and his younger companion looked at the floor. Sheppard looked at her. He saw her for what she was… a leader, a woman, a survivor, a possible friend… all of those things were reflected back at her in his eyes.

It was why she had trusted him, why she had followed him through the ring, why she had stayed on in the City of the Ancients even after her people had gone.

She had searched beside him when Ford had left Atlantis, Fought beside him against the Wraith, Mourned when Carson died, welcomed new members to their team, wept when Elizabeth had left them, almost died beside him…

She knew that the universe had troubles a plenty for them, things that they had never dreamed of, but at night Teyla slept soundly… because she knew that John watched over her… that John, for all his humor and stillness, had strength in him that matched her own and would give his life to keep her safe… so she stayed in Atlantis… because she couldn't imagine a place in the Universe that she would rather be.

* * *

Please Review and let me know who I should I do next:

- Chuck the Gate Tech

- General Chapter about the Marines

- Jack O'Neil


	8. Chapter 8

A.N. I am not a super huge SG1 fan... I love the characters but I'm not obessed like I am with SGA....

so that is to say if anything is horribly wrong with this it's not my fault.

Next Chapter: The Marines.

* * *

Jack O'Neill woke up some mornings and felt like there was nothing left that could surprise him. He grew up in Chicago, and was far too adventurous for a boy his age. He was adventurous enough for his parents and himself, it was with that in mind that his parents decided to move away from the temptations of the Windy City. At the tender age of nine he was ripped away from the bright lights and sounds of the city, but Jack could bring himself to be angry, he craved the adventure, wanted to see new worlds, explore the unknown.

His parents wanted to raise their son somewhere peaceful; Minnesota seemed like a natural choice. Jack loved those days in Minnesota and after he joined the Air Force, he missed them ferociously. Minnesota was a slice of heaven for Jack. The woods around his house stretched out like an open book, a blank slate for Jack to explore and traverse. There wasn't a tree that he didn't climb, a lake he didn't fish, a mountain he didn't reach the top of.

Jack was smart, but more of his time was spent looking out the window, waiting for the day to be over so he could be somewhere else, then on his school work.

Jack had never given much though to what he'd do when High school was over, at least until his father had taken him to see the Blue Angels at the local airstrip. It was awe inspiring and Jack remembered that day, the first time he saw those Jets and knew exactly what he wanted to do, for many years afterward.

The Air Force was the logical choice, Jack wanted the sky… he wanted the speed and strength, the beauty of flight.

It was what drove him though boot camp. Helped him loose the extra pounds he needed to get into the pilot program. The passion of that moment sustained him through failure, trial, and grew stronger as he was awarded his Solo flight wings.

Behind the controls of an F-16 Jack felt a peace settle over him, a peace that he had lacked as a child. It was like nothing he'd ever felt… until he met her. Sarah. She was like a ray of sun, a peaceful breeze that made him content on the ground, for a little while at least.

Looking back, he supposed that he would have done things differently… should have done things differently. Maybe he shouldn't have gone into Black Ops. Maybe he shouldn't have taken that flight into any territory that day… maybe he should have been more careful when he pulled his parachute cord… but that was all the past and those scars healed.

Unlike the scars from Charlie's death… they were in many ways still raw years afterward. So when the spooks had come around asking for him to take one last mission, he'd been grateful to get away from the silence of their house and the Sarah's accusing eyes.

It seemed odd that one choice would set him on such a strange path… some days he contemplated attempting to cash-in his Stargate Frequent flyer miles and move to a planet where no one would bother him and he could fish in alien lakes and eat alien fish until he was well and truly fat and happy…

It was odd that one choice made in desperation had given him so many good friends, like Daniel Jackson, Carter, and Tel'c.

All of these things occupied the airtime in his brain as he got in the helicopter at McMurdo to head to the Outpost. He'd read his pilot's file before climbing into the co-pilot chair… a habit he'd picked up as he started to do more and more paperwork for the SGC and Homeworld security.

John Sheppard was well trained, smart, and talented… but Jack knew he wouldn't get far.

One huge black mark had for all intents put him on a Black list. Jack knew what it took to disobey orders, knew what it meant to risk it all for a friend… He couldn't help but respect Sheppard, but the man that lopped across the tarmac looked nothing like he expected.

He thought the John Sheppard would be hard edged and cynical, like him… but instead he was calm and relaxed. His hands were sure on the controls as he double checked everything for take-off, sure as he guided the helicopter away from McMurdo and into the icy tundra. It struck Jack that John Sheppard reminded him of… well him.

He may not be cynical or deadly at first glance… but it was in the subtle flexing of muscles in his forearms, the carefully controlled and unflappable tone that he used as they dodged a run away drone, and in the uncharacteristically calm response to finding out about the Ancients.

It wasn't until Jack watched Sheppard step through the event horizon that he realized how much he want to go along… and how much him and Sheppard truly had in common.

He only hoped Sheppard didn't have as many strange adventures as he did, but he knew that the Stargate took travelers to places beyond anything they could imagine… he smiled as he thought about what Sheppard might face…

It was good to know that in some small way, through Sheppard, he was going along as well.

* * *

Please Review


	9. Chapter 9

Author's Note: This is a short chapter... but I like it a lot

* * *

The SGC could have their pick of the best and brightest from any branch of service the United States and her Allies had to offer. Servicemen didn't apply to be on Stargate teams they were selected. When the time came to pick men and women to take the trip to Atlantis… well it was months of picking through those best and brightest. It was months before they found the right man to lead the military on the Atlantis expedition… they chose Colonel Marshal Sumner. Sumner was a hard man, he was career military, one of those men who was born to be a Marine and when he died his last words would be "Oo'rah."

Sumner demanded that the men and women who were going to Atlantis trained together…trained until they could move as one unit, think as one unit, and listen to his commands without question. When the day came and they stood in front of the glowing event horizon… there was a sense of anticipation and resentment. John Sheppard, an Air Force Major… and assigned by Elizabeth Weir to be part of the team, stood in their midst… an interloper of the worst kind. Rumors flew about his pretty boy face, about how he was sleeping with Weir, about the black mark on his record… anything that they could find to trash talk about they did.

Until things went to hell… until Sumner was taken by the wraith and Sheppard was forced to kill him…

In those terse moments on the Wraith ship and in the jumper afterward they couldn't help but feel respect for the man. Some would say later that it was a wholly Marine thing to do… not letting the enemy have the final word. Those who knew Sumner felt the most respect for Sheppard. It took a backbone of solid steal to do what needed to be done. They knew that others who weren't there wouldn't necessarily understand… but they knew the truth of that night and they felt nothing but respect for John Sheppard.

As time passed they came to realized the true grit and determination that Sheppard hid under his laid back attitude. They had seen how far he would go to save even one member of the expedition. Even though Sheppard wasn't the originally military commander of Atlantis… they could see that Sumner would have failed were John succeeded… because Sheppard was willing to bend the rules, go the extra mile, and give everything he had over and over again.

When it came to killing Wraith no one knew more than Sheppard. When it came to hotshot puddle jumper antics, John was the man to look to. When it came to suicidal runs to deliver nuclear weapons to orbiting hive ships… well only one man had ever pulled it off and the Marines felt lucky to have him on their side.

When the wormhole opened the first time to reconnect them to Earth it was like a breath of fresh air… and that fresh air brought with it brand new Marines. Around tables in the mess with large cups of steaming coffee the "veterans" of Atlantis, as they jokingly referred to themselves, would place bets on how long new recruits would last.

It amazed them that with each new bunch of soldiers there was a handful who were out and out disrespectful to Sheppard… like they hadn't heard about his death defying rescue missions or jaw dropping wraith killing abilities.

No one was really sure who started the stories but before to long "Sheppard Facts" started circulating through the ranks of Marines. Some of the facts where realistic… like the time that Sheppard seduced an Alien Priestess or when he killed a 10,000 year old Wraith with nothing more than his knife and a power-bar. Then their were a few less than factual "facts" like: Sheppard seducing Twin Alien Princesses, Sheppard killing a wraith with his bare hands, and the many rumors about why his hair was so unruly.

The Marines were protective of their Commander. They took personal offence to anyone who spoke ill of him and were careful to let the new recruits know that "Sheppard Facts" aside… John Sheppard was a dangerous fighter, a natural leader, a fierce protector, a loyal friend, and stronger, on his worst day, than most men were even on their best.

* * *

Please Review


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

This time: David Sheppard.

* * *

When it came to brothers David and John Sheppard were a shinning example of the power of a fraternal relationship. David and John were opposites… but one was never seen without the other. When asked David say proudly that John was his best friend. They looked out for one another, took care of one another… laughed together. Their wasn't a day in their childhood that David remembered not having his brother beside him… until his mother got sick. John, who was dark and quiet and more like their mother than their father wanted to spend all of his time at the hospital. David wanted to be there, but he was afraid to his mother in that state. He was more like his father and started channeling his grief in productive applications. While he worked away on homework and business problems that his father gave him, John stayed beside their mother and told her stories, read to her, listened to her tell him about the things that he would do.

David would think back later that those months apart is when the problems started. John and him were no longer inseparable. Their father, Patrick, who was a hard man, was made even harder by the impending death of his beloved wife. When the day finally did come… things changed more drastically than David could have imagined just days before. Their father, who looked at John and saw only his dead wife… began to pull away and he took David with him.

John was always a smart kid. David remembered the day when grades came home, his brother and himself would have to report to their father and give him their grades. He would read them aloud, and then ask them to explain any grade that was less than an A. After all they were Sheppard's… and must therefore hold themselves to a better standard. John always had A's and David always felt jealous. John never applied himself to school. He would rather spend time hanging out with his friends and going to see their Uncle and Aunt in the city.

David didn't have a choice about what school he would attend. His father came to him part way through his Junior year in high school and gave him the admissions paperwork for Harvard. David knew that he was expect to take over in his father's place when the day came…and he relished the challenge. Later, he would consider that in those days John was on his own. He was expected to join the company and work under David and their father for the rest of his life. He had no one to turn to at home as the fights between their father and him grew more frequent and heated.

David for his part couldn't understand why John was the way we was. He seemed to reject all the advantages that their father wanted to give him. David was excited about the world of business. He was fascinated by stocks and bonds, bear and bull markets, marketing and selling… David was primed to take the reigns of the company… but John… well John grew more and more distant every day.

It wasn't until he got the call in his dorm room at Harvard that he realized how distant John and him truly were. His father called to tell him that John had joined the Air Force. It was a shock to David, who had planned his future carefully and always imagined that his brother would be there working along side of him. He didn't understand why John hadn't told him that he was planning to join up… and as the years past without word it grew into anger.

It would be four years before the youngest Sheppard son came home, in that time things had changed for David. He was now a Harvard graduate and quickly making a name for himself as a shrewd businessman. For him, John's return was like a match that set the powder keg of the last few years to fire.

John was a different man when he returned, calmer… and more committed. Their father tried to convince John to stay, to leave the Air Force, but John laid that idea low… he'd enlisted for another four years. David would recall the color of his father's face for months to follow. That murderous red… and that wide fist slamming into John's jaw. David might have stepped in to stop their father… if he hadn't felt like doing the same thing.

John didn't hit back or even get angry, like David expected he would have. Instead he quickly grabbed his still unpacked bag and walked out without looking back.

David would be haunted by that night for days before a dip in the stock market forced it from his mind. He knew that John would go to see their Uncle and Aunt, but he never showed up on their door step. Just the occasional card, a few terse words around the holidays.

David grew older and with that age came a better understanding of his brother. Maybe he couldn't fully get into John's head… but he did try. David was sure that Patrick felt horribly about the way things had gone that night, but Patrick was a Sheppard and Standard Operating Procedure was to force those feelings down as far into your gut as you could.

The next time that David saw his brother was when he showed up at their door late one light with a sharply dressed woman at his side. Her name was Nancy. She was a Harvard graduate like himself, a self-contained driven woman. The kind of woman that Patrick Sheppard had always wanted his son's to marry. David heard his father congratulate John on snagging Nancy… John, David decided, looked decidedly uncomfortable…

Nancy gave their father false hope that John was planning to settle down… thought David would admit that the same thoughts crept into his mind. Nancy and John announced that they were engaged to be married… in fact it was Nancy that insisted on meeting them… David wondered if she hadn't insisted would John have brought her around at all. Later in the Den, over drinks, Patrick would ask his youngest son about what he planned to do with his life now. David wished that his father would just let the subject drop… but Patrick Sheppard was nothing if not tenacious. David always thought that if Nancy hadn't been there Patrick would have tried to hit John again… David emphasized the try to himself as he regarded his brother, that night he saw something in John that he had never seen before… I kind of hard ruthlessness.

Nancy explained that neither one of them was ready to give up their careers… so John had decided to re-enlist for eight years. That night when John and Nancy had walked out of the house… Patrick Sheppard's cold fury had followed them down the drive and away into the dark. Nancy stayed in touch… and they saw John for the wedding but it was a brief meeting. Their family never was very good at getting along and David felt awkward watching one of John's Air Force buddies, Captain Holling, act as best man and deliver a rousing speech at the reception.

Nancy called the next week to let David known that John had been shipped out to some undisclosed location with the Air Force. She kept in touch and David was grateful for the window into his brother's life… even if his father wasn't

When his Uncle died David had expect to see John, but Aunt Margaret said that He'd called the night before to express his sympathies and to let her know that he would be able to make it to the funeral… Nancy arrived alone. She didn't stay long, just long enough to give Patrick and David her sympathies and let them know that she was filing for divorce from John. David felt the anger rise again like bile… it burned at his insides. Only tempered when their Aunt had handed him a packet of letters that John wrote over the years. Letters that were written to her husband… letters about his life and the things that he'd seen and hints at what he'd done. What gripped David's heart was the obvious concern the John expressed for himself and for their father despite everything that had happened.

It was six months before they got word from John and the news wasn't good. John was coming home for extended leave… because he was facing a review. Apparently he'd disobeyed a direct order and flown into the heart of enemy territory to rescue a friend. David wanted to respect his brother for what he'd done… but it was hard… it seemed to him that once again John had thrown everything good in his life away.

When John showed up on their door step… David had responded in the only way he could. He'd slammed the door in John's face and walked away. John, who had never been one to take no for an answer, simply opened the door and headed wordlessly to his old room.

Later that night… well that had been the biggest fight David could ever recall his brother and his dad having. David had tried to be neutral, tried to play third party like he'd done when they were younger… but he couldn't seem to be quiet. Between the two of them, David and Patrick ripped John apart. They criticized his choices, poked at his mistakes, laughed at the things he felt were important… anything that they could have done to make John feel lower than dirt… they did. It was two in the morning before the shouting stopped. Two in the morning before John looked at them with dead eyes and walked away. David and Patrick stood quietly for a moment… before heading up to their rooms for a couple hours of sleep. It was guilt that woke David later… and guilt that made him read the letter's John wrote… guilt that made him leave his room and head down the hall to John's room… and remorse that he felt when he saw the empty room… the tightly made bed… the military placement of the few items left in the room… and emptiness that filled him as he knew John wouldn't be coming back.

David waited for word from his brother… waited for some clue about what was happening… but no word came. David, who had started taking over more and more of the company, made some calls. He found out that John had been stationed in Antarctica. The loneliest place in the world… flying helicopters for hot shots and big wigs… something David was sure chaffed at him.

David tried to send John a letter but the words did seem to come out right… so he'd decided to wait until the time was right. After all John would come back sooner or later… he always did.

David wasn't ready for the news that reached them later that year… John was declared Missing in Action. At first… David had to admit he was confused… how does one go missing in Antarctica? let alone… M.I.A.

He'd made the same calls as last time, trying to find his brother… but was met with stony silence. Instead of answers he got a phone call late on night from an unknown number. Thinking that it was John he'd answered… but from the silence on the other end of the phone a sentence rang out as clear as a bell…

"David Sheppard. You need to stop looking for your brother." The person on the other end of the line was monotone… no sound echoed in the background of the call… and for a moment David sat on his bed with the phone to his ear, sure that the man on the other end was still there, until the phone line went dead.

David had never been more scared in his life… but he had no choice. He'd pushed his fear for John to the back of his mind and threw himself into his work. A year passed before David sat down and thought of John again… this time it was on his birthday. David pulled out the letter's Aunt Margaret had given him and a stack of old photos… then left both on his Father's desk. David felt like he had made peace with his brother… made peace with the choices he had made, made peace with the real possibility that he was never coming home.

It had been nearly a year and a half before they got any word of John's fate. A phone call, in the early evening, drastically changed David's view of his little brother. There, pouring out of the speaker on his father's phone was General Hank Landry… calling to congratulate them.

"I'm calling to express my deep gratitude for the service that your son, John Sheppard, has done for this country." David thought it had to be a hoax. First they think John is dead… now they get a call from some General saying that not only is John alive… but promoted…

"I'm sure he didn't get a chance to call you yet, so let me be the first to tell you. John Sheppard was promoted to the rank of Lieutenant Colonel." General Landry seemed completely oblivious to the havoc he was reeking on the Sheppard family. Patrick could barely speak when he responded.

"What do you mean promoted? We were told that he was M.I.A presumed dead." Patrick's voice was softer than David had ever heard it.

"No, Colonel Sheppard was working with Air Force operatives on a matter of national security. He was promoted for exceptional service, above and beyond what is expected…" there was more said after that… but David didn't hear a word. John was alive. He broke in as General Landry started to hang-up.

"How can we contact him?" General Landry was silent for a moment… but he gave them an address at Peterson Air Force base and hung up.

Maybe it was guilt. Maybe it was anger… or fear of what would happen if they couldn't get a hold of him… or worse yet if they could… but it wasn't until Patrick Sheppard had his heart attack that David sent the first message to John. It was strange that death pulled them apart and death pulled them back together.

John showed up out of nowhere, this time with a dangerous looking man at his side, John said the two worked together but David had his doubts. David wanted so desperately to make things right… but his grief clouded his vision… and made him fall back into the old routine with John, he'd asked about who this "Ronon Dex" was and loosed a crack remark about John's "Top Secret" Air Force work. He wanted to say more… to ask if he was happy, to ask John if he had found himself a place to settle down, to ask what he was doing with his life… but all he could get out was some dumb question about the Will.

He was sure that John wouldn't come back… that he gone and done what Patrick Sheppard had feared in the last couple of months of his life… he was afraid that he'd driven John away. So later… when a knock sounded on the door, and he'd opened it to reveal his brother, David felt a weight lifted off his shoulders. He would realize as he watched his brother wave from the back of the Taxi hours later… that as stubborn as his brother was about life… he was doubly as stubborn at his family… which David was glad to hear included a whole new group people, including the mysterious "Ronon Dex" who'd reportedly eaten more than ten full plates of food at the wake, a group of people who understood his brother in way that he hadn't in many years. David hadn't recalled ever seeing his brother as comfortable in his own skin as he had looked in those hours after the wake… and he'd never seen him so genuinely happy. It was a good start, David thought to himself, a good time to rebuild, because David was sure that no matter what it took he wanted his brother in his life.

* * *

Please Review!


	11. Chapter 11

Short... but it's all good.

Please Review.

This Chapter: Jeanie Miller

* * *

Jeanie Miller liked to think that she understood her brother better than most.

She remembered growing up with Rodney. She remembered reading his old physics books and him teaching her the basics of String Theory.

She remembered the exact moment that they started to fight with one another. It was the day that she proof read on of his proofs and decided to tell him that he was wrong. Rodney McKay was never wrong about anything, or at least that's what he thought.

From that moment on, they were constantly competing with one another.

When Jeanie had married Kaleb, an American English major, Rodney had grown even more distant, but when she'd dropped out of the world of academia to raise her child… well Rodney had exploded in a famous display of McKay temper.

They hadn't spoke in years, Jeanie assumed that he simply refused to see her, but she didn't understand the full extent of their physical and emotional separation until the day he showed up at her house out of the blue.

Except the Rodney McKay, who showed up with flowers at her door and offered to eat tofu Chicken with them was vastly different from how she remembered.

Sure, he was still insanely pushy, and didn't understand why she wanted a family… but there was a vulnerability in his eyes that hadn't been there before.

Maybe that was why she'd gone with him… she wasn't sure. Maybe she wanted to find out what had changed him…

She knew the moment that she met John Sheppard what had changed her brother.

Sheppard brought out a side of her brother that she had never seen before.

He had a strength about him that stopped Jeanie in her tracks, she loved her husband, but John Sheppard had something about that drew her attention.

It was hard to imagine that this smiling, laughing, disheveled man could be the dangerous military commander of Atlantis.

He didn't seem to notice the effect that he had on those around him. That Marine's stood straighter whenever he was mentioned in conversations, proud that he was their commander. That scientists laughed at his antics, but even some of the most notoriously prickly members of the expedition wouldn't say an ill word about their commander… and those who did weren't treated very kindly.

John Sheppard, Jeanie was fairly sure, was the glue that held Atlantis together. Jeanie thought one night while she lay awake in the guest room on base that if John were to leave… the whole thing would fall apart.

Jeanie was sure that whatever it was about John Sheppard that made him who he was, there wasn't another person in the world like him… and that she was lucky to have met him.


	12. Chapter 12

This time: Chuck the Gate Tech!

please Review!

Disclaimer: I own nothing! Thanks!

* * *

Chuck grew up in the middle of nowhere Canada. Half a day's ride from a town so small it barely had a name and certainly didn't show up on a map. He was one of ten in his graduating class and was the only one to make it to the university. He studied… everything. Any class that he could get into, he took and he aced. Chuck knew that he was smart, he always had been… but he'd never found something that truly challenged him.

He joined a Canadian research team as their tech support… a position that was far under his ability level… but for Chuck it was the chance to travel and deal with new problems that made him say yes.

It was in a small military cafeteria in the middle of a particularly harsh Canadian winter that Chuck glimpsed the future. He was nursing his fourth cup of coffee, and seriously considered switching to hot coco or decaf, when a new group of soldiers and scientists wondered in. Chuck, who was occupying the only somewhat open table in the place, had the privilege of sitting next to them.

Maybe it was luck that everyone decided that the Cafeteria was the warmest room on base.

Maybe it was chance that one of the scientists sitting next to him, working on his laptop, has no idea how to fix his computer when it started giving him the "Blue screen of Death."

Maybe it was cockiness on his part that made him say he could fix it, and then attempt it in the face of the incredulous looks on the soldier's faces.

Whatever it was that drove those next few minutes it changed his life forever. He'd slid the laptop over in front of him and settled his fingers over the keys. The thrill of the challenge shot through him.

This is what he trained for, he told himself as he started working. His fingers were blurs, his face set, and his mind working at a smile a minute. He of course was able to get the computer working again… after all he was Chuck… and nothing phased him… at least until he glanced at the program code that had caused the overload. Strange symbols and algorithms that made his mind spark and jump for joy. He could see the problem and he didn't even stop to think about fixing it. He removed sections of code and rewrote them… fixing the overload of the processors and speeding up the function of program. He handed it back.

It was a week after the group left that he got the call. He was being recruit into a new program… a program in the United States. He quickly learned, after signing a stack of forms that made shutter for the poor dead trees, that the program he'd fixed was the program used to train "away" teams on Stargate Dialing procedures … which was a whole other pile of problems that Chuck was itching to get his hands on.

Chuck was smart… he always had been and after a few months of reading and training… he was ready to take on any problem that the SGC had to throw at him… and he did. Through thick and thin Chuck was there… the man on the DHD, the man with the answers… the man who was getting transferred… to Atlantis. A whole new Galaxy… something Chuck never even dreamed of in his wildest dreams.

The first few days were tough, no one knew him, all the reputation he'd built up in the SGC was gone… here he was… the man with the answers and he was forced playing secretary for Rodney McKay. He would have transferred back if he hadn't met John Sheppard. He'd met the military commander of Atlantis when he'd first come to the base, but he hadn't really had a chance to get to know him until he'd come home from a mission with weapons blasts following him through the gate.

John's smile was infectious as he walked up the steps to the control center. Chuck could still remember what he said to Elizabeth Weir when she'd come out to meet him.

" All in All, A good mission." He checked the bullet graze on his arm as he said it. Chuck was blown away. No matter how many teams he'd seen come and go through the gate up to that point, he'd never seen anything like John Sheppard… and he knew that no matter how long he said in Atlantis he'd measure every team by John Sheppard… and he knew that none of them would come close.

It was the grit and determination that caught his attention, the loyalty and friendship that made him want to know more, and the respect for everyone on Atlantis that made him want to stay and see what he would do next.

John Sheppard was an anomaly that Chuck had no training to fix and he wasn't sure how he felt about that.

In the next few months he saw Sheppard defy orders, come back injured, get kidnapped, blow-up hive ships, pull death defying stunts, recruit alien specialists, eat his body weight in popcorn, and get the crap beat out of him by Teyla... but he'd seen the man save people who everyone else had writen off, face death with a cool head and an analyzing eye, carry the burden of command with grace and strength, and earn the respect of Alien cultures who made crotchety seem like a compliment.

Chuck wondered if he'd ever met anyone who compared to John Sheppard, but the questions was quickly answered... never.

John Sheppard was in some ways more foreign to Chuck tahn any alien race they'd encountered so far.

* * *

Please review!


	13. Chapter 13

This time: Samantha Carter

Please Review! thanks!

* * *

Samantha Carter had an average military childhood. She moved from place, wherever her father was stationed. It was hard for her to make friends with other kids her age. She was smarter all of them and approached situations from an entirely different perspective. Where kids her age still saw the world is simple terms of things they could feel and basic science… Sam saw the world in terms of the unseen, the intangible, and the everlasting. She read books that college students didn't even touch, watched the discovery channel like it was Saturday morning cartoons, and questioned the world around her at every turn.

During her history phase, a time in which she read nothing but thick tomes on ancient battles, she organized the children of the play ground to replicate the Battle of Cannae. She cast herself as Hannibal and within a few moments had the "Romans" on the run.

It had always been like that for Sam Carter. She would go through phases in what she read… until she picked up a book on Astrophysics. From then on it was all variables, flight speeds, thermodynamics, chemical composition, relativity… so many ideas that her mind was constantly a blur of activity and thought.

She tried to share her passion with her family but they didn't understand. Her father might have… but he was never around long enough to listen to her ramble on about chemical compositions and exoplanets.

It was her mother that kept Sam from feeling like a freak. She was proud of her daughter and made the time to sit and listen as Sam tried to explain the simple concepts to her mother.

It was Sam's mother that found the science camp for her to go to that summer… it was Sam's mother that helped her pack her bags and kissed her forehead as she boarded the plane.

Sam loved Camp… it was full of kids who loved science like she did. She was still smarter than most of them, but at least when she made an offhand remark about some obscure science term, some of them got the joke. Still, she couldn't wait to get home and tell her mom all the things she'd learned.

Until she got to the airport…

Until she learned that her mother had been in an accident…

Learned that her mother had died in route to the hospital…

It was weeks later before Sam would even venture out of her room. She was torn up inside with grief. She hated herself and her father for the pain of loosing her mother.

It was natural for Sam to be angry; maybe if she'd been anyone else she would have rebelled in a different way, but for Sam her escape was found in knowledge. She poured herself into her studies. Graduating early from high school and then from college.

It was in those years of study that she forgave her father and tried to reform her relationship with him. She learned to be confident and bold. She learned how to take on the world and come out on top.

Sam was proud to follow in her father footsteps; she joined the air force and quickly advanced through the ranks. There her education became hands on, instead of theories and ideas. She helped build the Stargate program from the floor up. She became a member of SG-1. The first and she liked to think… best, away team of the SGC.

She saw things that were beyond any dream ever, traveled to places unheard of even in science fiction… lived more in those years than most do in their entire lives.

So, when the chance came to do something new it was easy for Sam to say yes. She'd heard Daniel ramble on and on about Atlantis, the city of the Ancients. She'd read the reports of the first couple years… the death, the battles, the missions.

She wanted that adventure, so she'd taken the job as Expedition Leader, replacing the MIA Elizabeth Weir.

It was there that she met John Sheppard.

Sam considered herself to be a hero; she'd saved the earth from time to time, been given awards by the president of the United States and leaders of alien worlds, but Sheppard was a hero in a way that reminded her of Jack O'Neill.

They both believed in the strength of their team, both defied authority to do what they felt was right, would never leave a man behind, and got hit on by alien priestesses.

Still there were many things that were different about John Sheppard. He was selfless to the point of insanity (Jack was selfless, but John took it to a whole new level), smart enough to have passed the MENSA test (or so Rodney told her), charming and diplomatic (where Jack let her or Daniel do most of the talking), and he made people feel… well… at ease.

As if the whole world rested on his shoulders and he was okay with that. Maybe it was the fact that his boots where never laced correctly or his lazy gait, but the first time that she saw him kill… she felt a chill go down her spine. Gone was the easy-going, fun loving John Sheppard and in his place was a methodical killer with ice water in his veins.

Later, after she'd been removed from command of Atlantis… she'd think about that change, about the man and the beast that lived inside of Sheppard. She'd think until her head hurt and at the end of the night still be glad that for a time she glimpsed the ability of one person to radically change the course of events by sheer force of their will and that while John Sheppard was similar to Jack O'Neill, there was no one truly like John Sheppard in this universe or the next.

* * *

Next time: John Sheppard.

Wrap your mind around that one! ;)


	14. Chapter 14

This is the last chapter of this story. I'm sorry it's taken so long to get it out to you! :) Enjoy

Disclaimer: I own Nothing, no copyright infringement was meant by writing this story.

* * *

He looked in the mirror and the man that stared back at him was as unfamiliar to him as the harsh alien landscape around him... when had he changed so much that the mirror became his enemy. When had he walked away from himself and failed to come back. His hand shook as he brought it up to his mused hair... his fingers were covered in new and old scars, his nails cut down to the quick, the pads of those long battered fingers were thick with callouses. He rubbed his hands across his face feeling those same callouses scrape across his tired eyelids and catch in the thick stubble across his strong jaw... some days he felt like he'd missed out on his own life... he'd missed out on all those experiences that the world said were important. He felt that He was alone, surrounded by the unseeing masses, sadness carefully hidden behind careless smiles and half heart-ed laughter.

He'd never meant for it to be this way... all those years ago when he'd chosen this life, he hadn't counted on so many things... he hadn't counted on alien priestess both friend and foe... He hadn't planned on time dilation fields and thousand year old Wraith... or DNA altering bugs...

Still if he was asked give it all back and start over, he'd have to kindly refuse...

He knew that when it was all said and done, at the end of the day when he finally made it back to his quarters and laid his head down, he had well and truly lived.

He though back to his childhood, to his mother and his father and he felt that burden ease.

His mother had loved him unconditionally, she was a kind soul with a smile that could warm a room in seconds. he hated that the thing he remembered most about his mother was how she smelled of antiseptic and medicine... but he loved his mother and her sad eyes. She told him that he could anything, that nothing in the world was beyond his grasp if he worked hard enough. When she died his world had been shattered, it was as though he had been holding on with nothing more than his finger tips and looked up one day to realize that the cliff face had crumbled under his grasp. His beloved mother was gone, his father was more distant than ever, and his brother, who had been his only friend, was absent. John remembered the depression that followed. The struggle to breath, the fear that he would never be whole again...

It had been almost two years before he started writing letters to his uncle... it was those letters that saved him. He believed for the first time in a long time that he could in fact do something more with his life... something more than what his father wanted.

It was his uncle who'd told him that he could not only pass high school, but get straight A's. It was his Uncle who'd filled his head with dreams of flying and the glory of serving your country. It was his Uncle who he secretly confided in when he fought with his father... it was his Uncle who showed him the importance of family... when he would have walked away halfway through High School.

John remembered the fight when he'd told his father about joining the Air Force... he remembered feeling ashamed... feeling like a failure. He remembered the burning pain in his jaw and the crushing loneliness.

Maybe it was that loneliness that had drive him in Nancy's arms... he never really knew what it was about her that grabbed his attention and held it... but he knew it wasn't going to last... he'd known it from the start, but he had wanted the approval of his father so desperately, he'd gone through with the marriage, feeling sick the whole time. It hadn't taken long for her to leave, longer than he'd though but... he knew that she deserved better so he hadn't tried to stop her.

He'd fought longer and harder in his black-ops career than most people did in a lifetime... he'd given it all up for friendship...

Gained fame and prestige and lost it all just as quickly. He'd had wings, flow the fastest plans on the most dangerous missions... only to end up grounded in some shit-hole in Antarctica... At least that's what he thought at first.

Still the more time he spent looking out over that desolate white nothing, the more he felt a peace with the death that plagued his soul and the darkness he saw in himself.

It was there that John met Jack O'Neil.

He hadn't wanted to be a babysitter for some big shot General at first... but he knew as soon as he laid eyes on the man that he was a kindred soul.

Alone... battered inside and out, but always ready for more.

Maybe that was why he'd agreed to go on the mission, never mind that he was sure it would be a hell of a lot warmer where ever he went and that he had nothing left to lose or win here on earth. John like to think that it was Jack who'd convinced him, it was there in the way he spoke about it, there in the way that he carried himself... John knew that he wanted that.

Atlantis had been more than he ever expected...

the friendship, the fights, the love, the death...

it wore on a person...

it changed a man...

but as John looked in the mirror he considered that perhaps he was not so different from how he remembered... instead he looked for the first time in his life vaguely comfortable in his own skin... happy to be exactly who he was... that was the real different that showed in the mirror.

* * *

Love to all my faithful readers, leave a nice little note for me... it would make me smile!


End file.
